Purple Prose and NSFW Wednesday

Ah the haters. Haters gonna hate. There's nothing to be done about that. But I'm going to quote Inigo Montoya in a minute about one phrase I see over and over from a certain group of people.

Purple Prose.

As in oh my god this book is so horrible. The dirty talk was so ridiculous, so purple prosey I almost gagged.

So as old Inigo said, "I don't think that word means what you think it means." Or that phrase.

So what exactly is purple prose?

Well, a great many people seem to think it's more towards the pornographic way of describing sex. That's uh, porn.

Purple prose is the overly flowery over the top way of describing sex without actually describing sex.

His raging rod of steel was eagerly absorbed by her maiden pearl dripping with eager dew. You know 80's romance novel talk is pretty much the great and terrible owner of purple prose. Where it started. And I uh, shamefully have some of those books and love the hell out of them.

When a person says he or she wants to suck someone's dick and maybe it get's a little overly beggy, that's not purple prose. That's just plain old all-American dirty talk. That's seduction.

To the haters who don't like it when I write like that I have one question. Hasn't anyone ever talked to you like that? No? Well, that's a shame. Because, damn you gotta love those guys who can charm your socks off. And secondly, what do you want me to say? Grunt. Fuck me. Grunt. shit fuck damn oh shit oh shit suck my dick. grunt grunt.....oh yeah sexy.

I write dirty talk. This is romance not porn. This is written word not film. So the next time I write a book I'm going to write: He shoved it in and pulled it out and in and out again and again until he came spewing like Mount Vesuvius all over the unsuspecting villagers below. Hell yeah, I want some of that!!!!!! Come on baby bend me over now.

It's Wednesday, Behind Iron Lace with it's over abundance of Cajun Purple Prose is now available in paperback through Silver and Amazon.

And Need You Now is now three days away. And there isn't anything in this one to keep it from Amazon.

Oh and don't forget Beyond Complicated is still for sale. I think it's my best book. But that's just my opinion.
Mercy

I'm still here

I promise. I haven't packed up and moved to Siberia yet. Though with the temperatures already up to the hundred degree mark here in lower Alabama, Siberia is looking pretty damned good. I mean seriously, it's May, we should not be this hot we should be in the lower 80s with summer still to come. 100 degree temps are usually reserved for August or late July and usually don't last very long. A few days at the most. Normal is low 90s even in the hottest dog days. Thank god and modern technology for air-conditioning. That's all I have to say. Because, damn, it was still 80 degrees at midnight last night. That's the type of weather that breeds mass murderers.

Okay yes I know I'm just chatting about the weather when I haven't posted a blog in five days. And you're wondering where the naked men are.

I've been super busy. We finished the final edits for Need You Now on the final day of deadline. And that cowboy book I thought I'd finished last week, yeah, well they didn't shut up. I added another ten thousand words. It's finished. I even gave it an epilogue that tied everything up in a great big bow. I finished it at midnight last night. And yes I hit the stage where I was laughing like a manic while plotting a trip to the local mega mart that I'd rigged with explosives and going boom boom boom die mother fuckers die I hate you so bad just DIE...uh it's 81 thousand words, 10 thousand less than Beyond Complicated. And I really should go and have my head examined. I do horrible things to good people. I think there is something really wrong with me.

Okay and now for a little bit of bad news.

I'm not going to self publish Let It Go just yet. I'm going to submit it to a publisher first. See I'm torn on the SP issue. It's great in terms of control. I mean I have complete control. But that's also the problem. I have COMPLETE control and all of the work. I'm sort of lazy. All I want to do is write my stories. And send them off to other people to do the secondary work. So yeah. Please don't hit me.

And the blog...yeah, I'm here less and less. Mostly because I just end up in trouble lately. I have no filter. I say what I think. I've always been like this. Some people appreciate this quality, others not so much.

So for now I'm keeping this to need to know and book promotion.

Speaking of promotion.

Behind Iron Lace is due out tomorrow in paperback.

And Need You Now is set for Saturday.

Should we do a give away?
Yes I think we should.

Need You Now this week. I'll do a signed print copy of BIL as soon as I have one in my hot little hands. So this week all week just comment on the posts to win a copy of NYN on Saturday.

I'll be back on Wednesday with some hot wet men. And Friday for our usual hot man loving Friday.

Mercy

Tuesdays, graduations, sister visiting, Need You Now, you know stuff...

My second child graduates high school tonight. I can't believe really that it's that time. He was a pretty little blond urchin with ringlet curls once upon a time. Now he's grown, over grown, and finishing up the first phase of his life.

I've already broken down once at the last band concert. When seniors were recognized. I mean he just started band how is it over. (Thank god it's over, I have had enough band to last me two lifetimes) How is this kid an adult now? I just don't know.

My sister is here, sleeping on my sofa. And I didn't have to force her or bribe her with stuff either. So that's what I'm doing right now. Graduation things and messing with my sister's head. Which is always fun.

And did you know that Need You Now comes out Saturday after this next one? It does. Two more little...not even two more little weeks, a week and a few days. And I realized that it's been lost in the Beyond Complicated shuffle so much that I really haven't talked much about it.

First it's short. Only around 20 thousand words. It's a reunion story. Two former roommates who became best friends but went their seperate ways reunite when one comes home to start over only to find out that things were not as they seemed. Set at Christmas of all times. Hey I wrote it at Christmas and was feeling maudlin. But it's not horribly angsty. At least not by my usual standards. Short sweet sex story with Christmas lights and a broken sagging sofa. What's not sexy about that?

Ah heck how do you talk about a short story without telling too much anyway? I think you'll like it. I hope you'll like it.

Anyway, that's what's going on today. And with any luck now that all of the life changing events going on in my life are settling down maybe things will get back to normal around here. All kinds of crazy but without Pomp and Circumstance.

Will talk later, with naughty boys.

Mercy

How to write erotic romance advanced level

There is something that I need to make perfectly clear. I am a ROMANCE writer. I write sensual and erotic ROMANCE. I might dip into the various sub-genres of romance but first and foremost I am now and will always be a romance author. When you buy my books you need to know that up front.

I cut my writing chops reading Johanna Lindsey with the first edition Fabio covers, Kathleen Woodiwiss was an early bodice ripper favorite, Virginia Henley followed fast on their heels. Her book The Pirate and the Pagan has the best opening line ever. I moved on to contemporary. Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, there are just so many who have graced my shelves over the past twenty plus years. I love this genre. Everything is in this genre. From space pirates to pirates of yore to modern day pirates off the coast of Somalia and the Navy SEALS who fight them. I learned enough about history by reading historic romance that I dug into the times and lives on my own and learned more. I loved with these people while I was bedridden with my third child. While I recovered from two surgeries. While I was stuck at home with three babies and nothing to keep me from going postal but living vicariously through these books. I devoured all of the Outlander books by Diana Gabaldon and got sick of vampires and shifters long before the current obsession with that genre. So when reviewers of my gay romance books pop up a two star and say she should probably stick with Harlequin or Regency romance, all I can say is thanks for the compliment.

I write romance. I am not going to apologize for it. When I made up my mind that I should bring my talents into the already flourishing M/M scene I didn't know I wasn't allowed to write romance. I didn't know that it was a bad thing to write about two men being romantic or seductive or lord forbid dirty talk, because no guy ever talks dirty to get in someones pants. That's never happened. NEVER. Yeah I should have said Caleb used spit instead of what I did say, I felt it was a bit too gross so chose not to. And before we get on the whole lube war wagon. You do not have to have lube to have anal sex. Spit works just fine. Being without an ever present tube or bottle of lube does not stop people from having sex. Yes it would probably be more comfortable especially with a condom but come the hell on, don't believe me then pick a guy and ask him or try it for yourself. Jiminy Cricket!

I've spent years and mean that in the more than a decade way of saying years studying how to write romance. How to write the perfect romance. How to sell your perfect romance once you've written it. How to pace, how to hook the reader, how to stage conflict, how to write convincing dialogue. And I've spent more than a decade doing things wrong. Head hopping. Publishers hate head hopping. Readers don't mind but publishers will make you rewrite head hopping, at least all of the publishers I've worked with. Too much backstory in the beginning, prologues, publishers hate prologues mostly because it's backstory. How to weave backstory into the now story. How to move a story from point A meeting to point B first kiss to C first love scene point D major conflict scene point E huge sex scene point F conflict explodes in what is known as the black moment and then letting it all flow down to a satisfying ending, an HEA or at least a HFN is expected, no demanded in the romance world. Tying up every plot and subplot in a nice neat little bow. And somewhere in there I learned to make you the reader fall in love with my characters I learned to make you laugh with them or cry with them. I learned that if I'm not crying when I'm writing a scene then the reader won't either. I learned to bleed with these people.

So when you tell me how much you loved my stories how you forgot that these are fictional people and you couldn't go to bed until you finished it, you touch me. When you tell me I suck, you touch me too. When you tell me I should stick to writing Harlequins and stay out of M/M well I take the first part as a great compliment, and the second part as a challenge.

Why can't I write gay romance? Who says? I write erotic romance. I'm told I do it very well. I can and I will and now that you know my name you'll immediately know this is a Mercy Celeste book. It's not going to be sweet, it's not going to be nice, it's going to be dirty, it's going to be full of dirty talk and romantic sex, it could get violent, there will be angst, there will be conflict, if I make you laugh or cry then I've done my job. If this isn't your cup of tea then don't read my books. Because I'm not apologizing. I'm going there. Are you coming with me? This is my world and I'm just getting started. And there will be dirty talking bad boys, I can guarandamntee that. Because I like dirty talking bad boys. I write to entertain, to provide a couple of hours of escape, to know that even if it's fictional that there is hope and there is love. Because life sucks and Happy Ever After isn't real but it's nice to think it is. Even if it's for just a couple of hours. It's romantic fiction with some hot nasty sex. What else do you need?

Mercy

 This is why I write what I do. This is an orgasm just waiting to happen. Enjoy your weekend. :-)

Monday morning catch up

There is still work to do, despite hissy fits and the like.

First Beyond Complicated is still only available at Silver Publishing. The link is at the top of the page in red.

There are less than three weeks until Need You Now is released. I have pre-order link available on the right just click on the cover.

Need You Now is a nice sexy short story with no major angst. It's a gift of aww from me after the roller coaster ride that is Beyond Complicated.

I mentioned yesterday that a couple of books will be available soon in paperback. I don't know the dates, but Behind Iron Lace will be out very soon. And as I understand it though this may change, plans are to go ahead with Beyond Complicated as soon as possible. I'm very happy about that. There is nothing like holding a book with your name on it in your hands. When I know I'll do a big contest and give away a copy or two.

Reviews for BC are for the most part very positive. Yes, it's sensitive subject matter. But come on y'all are not going to go to hell for reading it. And if you do then you'll most likely get a seat near me ;-) You might spontaneously combust but I'm pretty sure you'll survive it.

In self published news. I have lowered the price on both In From the Cold and The 51st Thursday to 99 cents until June 1st. Again a gift because of the high price of Beyond Complicated.

And a question. I finished the Cowboy book last night. I'm doing a quick rewrite on it and sending it to beta readers. If I were to switch the release date for this book and Cold Shadow of Doubt would y'all tar and feather me....Yes Lisa Sullivan I know you would :-)

I'm going to dig into the Cold book starting later this week but I'm just wondering.

Okay, happy Monday, I have a ton of work to do to fix what I undid last week. Will talk later.

Mercy

a little news and pussy pics

I have reason to believe that there are print editions of certain books in the works. Shhh. Don't know when. I'll let you know as soon as I do.

and here are some pretty pussies, they're mine.

This is Jinx, he's a Maine Coon who is more human like than any cat I've ever met. He weighs 21 pounds and can stand on the floor and put his paws on top of the kitchen table and look over.

And this is Luna. She's his sister from the same litter. She's only 11 pounds and very dainty with a prehensile tail. We rescued them from a parking lot when they were both tiny enough to hold in one hand.

and raise your hand if you're a pervert! Yeah I thought so.

I'll never show my pussy here. My ass but never the pussy.